God’s Will

Refer if the counselee is increasingly confused

• Con – fuse = with fusion
• This means that the confused counselee is fusing/blending/dissolving self with the expectations and desires of others in some way. Often the loudest expectations a person has internalized and fused with are his/her parents.
• When you hear, “I feel confused”, you can utilize this insight to understand the dynamic underlying process: The counselee is having a difficult time establishing or choosing his or her own identity and ideas. Instead of choosing, he is fusing self with others, thus confused.

If a person feels “uncertain”, this is an indication of feeling insecure, unconfident with the choice he or she MAY make. For example, a woman may feel guilty for making a choice she feels that her parents would not have wanted her to make. She feels unsafe and insecure making the choice as she imagines her parents attacking her or yelling at her for making the “wrong” choice.

God does not always speak to us as He spoke to Moses, with tablets of stone. He wants us to develop our own God-given ability to seek truth and make the most truly loving choices.

If the counselee is wanting more specific information with which to make his or her choice, then a referral to a specialist (for example, a career counselor) may be indicated.

Referral for psychological testing may be an option.

If the counselee remains stuck or begins to feel increasingly hopeless, depressed or suicidal, it is important to refer them to a psychologist, therapist, etc.

NOTE: If you, as a pastor, are constantly telling your counselee what God’s will is, then he or she will grow dependent upon you; they will have a person besides themselves to “blame” if and when things go wrong; and they will miss the opportunity to develop the skills necessary for discerning and understanding truth and applying wisdom. Yes, you have much more knowledge than the average lay person, thus you can direct them to scriptural passages that may enlighten their decision making process; yet, it is important to keep in mind that you are teaching them to develop the skills necessary to make wise choices.